Relationship Therapy in St. Charles, Missouri
Boundaries, People-Pleasing & Relationship Patterns
Sometimes the hardest part of setting a boundary isn't knowing what the boundary should be. It's tolerating how you feel when someone doesn't like it.
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Sometimes It’s Not About Wanting to Please Everyone
You may agree to things you do not really want to do because saying no feels uncomfortable—or almost impossible.
A useful question becomes: Did I actually choose this—or did I feel like I couldn’t say no?
Someone Else’s Disappointment Doesn’t Automatically Mean You’ve Done Something Wrong
People are allowed to have feelings about your boundaries. Their disappointment does not automatically mean your boundary was unfair.
A healthy boundary isn’t always saying no. Sometimes it’s knowing that you could say no—and being able to choose yes.
Sometimes a Boundary Problem Is Really a Self-Worth Problem
If your value is tied to being helpful, dependable, needed, agreeable, or liked, saying no may feel as though it says something about who you are.
The work may include more than finding the right words for a boundary. We may need to understand why another person’s disappointment feels so threatening.
Relationship Patterns, Over-Functioning & Vulnerability
We may look at the roles you repeatedly take in relationships: fixing, rescuing, over-explaining, taking responsibility for other people’s emotions, avoiding conflict, withdrawing, or becoming the person who always holds everything together.
The goal is learning how to stay connected to other people without losing connection with yourself.
Ready to Talk?
You don’t have to know exactly what to say. If something here feels familiar, we can start there.
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