Devereux Counseling, Stephanie Devereux, MA, LPC, S. COrey Hart MA LPC, Tonya Nowlin MA, PLPC, Kayla Burton MA, LPC Counselor, St. Charles, MO

4 Steps to Feel Better Today!

8/13/2015

We live in a world where we are constantly being judged, ridiculed, criticized, and put down. This can be traumatizing when it is coming from a loved one, superior, or a friend, but can be just as damaging if not more, when one feels and thinks it about themselves. We can be our own biggest critic at times and hinder our own growth and happiness. There becomes a time when we must step out of our own minds, and take time to find peace and happiness. Self care is a very important aspect that can be overlooked with the hustle of everyday life. In a society where one is expected to work and maintain a living, someone may go to work, come home, cook, pick up the kids, clean, do homework, and several other duties that make a 24 hour day appear to not be enough time to even breath. Lets not forget finding time to sleep and regroup for the next day when you get to start all over again. Not only are you tired with the day, but here comes the judgement, criticizing, and put downs. “When do I get to breath?”, “I need a break!”, “I could simply scream!” These are all statements that we have all felt and maybe said out loud before. Self care does not look the same for everyone and does not have to be a time consuming measure. Self care is exactly like it sounds; taking time to care for self. Please take a look at a few self care items listed below to implement into your daily routine for peace and happiness.

Exercising/ fitness- This does not have to be a 2 hour workout. Exercising and physical fitness can be simply taking a walk and having the chance to have a change of scenery to get some fresh air. This can also include a bike ride, or playing in the yard with the kids. There are several blogs and articles that provide workouts and routines for parents with children that allow for children to exercise with the parent. This can allow for a release of endorphins and stress, but an interaction with the kids as well!

Sleep- This can be one of the first things to go when the aspects of life set in. We have all heard that we should be getting at least 8 hours of sleep. This number can differ by age as someone in their teens may need more sleep than someone in late adulthood. It is difficult to pinpoint an exact number but a lack of sleep can lead to health problems, lack of energy, and an onset of depression.
Healthy/ Eating- Comfort food is an easy fix to what can become an extended problem. It is easy to stop by the closest fast food restaurant, get that bowl of ice cream, or drink a soda. Despite the fact that these items may taste delicious, the toll that they can take on the body can affect our health and self image. One does not have to give up everything that they enjoy, but try trading that ice cream for a bowl of fruit or using olive oil instead of butter when cooking, and make sure you are drinking water. Small steps that can lead to big results in the long run for your health.

Find a Hobby- When is the last time that you did something just for fun? Find something that you enjoy doing that simply makes you smile. This can include drawing, crafting, exercising, dancing, playing a sport, singing, playing the video game etc.

We would be happy to help you start a self care program; Call us today to set up an appointment!

Blog Written By: Constance West, Counseling Intern

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10 Cognitive Distortions That Could Be Causing Anxiety, Depression, and Difficulty Reaching Goals.

2/27/2015

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Cognitive distortions are patterns of thinking or "self-talk" that convinces you of something that isn't really true; it shifts your mind to believe negative thoughts as if they are facts. These inaccurate thoughts reinforce negative thinking and emotions and lead to decreased self esteem and self worth.

Cognitive distortions can hold you back in one or all areas of your life. The first step in correcting these negative beliefs is awareness. The most common thinking errors can be divided into these 10 cognitive distortions, adapted from David Burns's book,The Feeling Good Handbook.

1. All-or-Nothing/ Black and White Thinking
Sometimes we see things as being black or white: Perhaps you have two categories of coworkers in your mind—the good ones and the bad ones. Or maybe you look at each project as either a success or a failure. Recognize the shades of gray, rather than putting things in terms of all good or all bad.

2. Overgeneralizing
It's easy to take one particular event and generalize it to the rest of our life. If you failed to close one deal, you may decide, "I'm bad at closing deals." Or if you are treated poorly by one family member, you might think, "Everyone in my family is rude." Take notice of times when an incident may apply to only one specific situation, instead of all other areas of life.

3. Filtering
If nine good things happen, and one bad thing, sometimes we filter out the good and zero in on the bad. Despite the positive events that occurred, we declare that we’ve had a bad day. Or maybe we look back at our performance and declare it was terrible because we made a single mistake. Filtering out the positive can prevent you from establishing a realistic outlook on a situation. Develop a balanced outlook by noticing both the positive and the negative.

4. Mind-Reading
We can never be sure what someone else is thinking. Yet, everyone occasionally assumes they know what's going on in someone else's mind. Thinking things like, "He must have thought I was stupid at the meeting," makes inferences that aren't necessarily based on reality. Remind yourself that you may not be making accurate guesses about other people's perceptions.

5. Catastrophizing
Sometimes we think things are much worse than they actually are. If you fall short on meeting your financial goals one month you may think, "I'm going to end up bankrupt," or "I'll never have enough money to retire," even though there's no evidence that the situation is nearly that dire. It can be easy to get swept up into catastrophizing a situation once your thoughts become negative. When you begin predicting doom and gloom, remind yourself that there are many other potential outcomes.

6. Emotional Reasoning
Our emotions aren't always based on reality but we often assume those feelings are rational. If you're worried about making a career change, you might assume, "If I'm this scared about it, I just shouldn't change jobs." Or, you may be tempted to assume, "If I feel like a loser, I must be a loser." It's essential to recognize that emotions, just like our thoughts, aren't always based on the facts.

7. Labeling
Labeling involves putting a name to something. Instead of thinking, "He made a mistake," you might label your neighbor as "an idiot." Labeling people and experiences places them into categories that are often based on isolated incidents. Notice when you try to categorize things and work to avoid placing mental labels on everything.

8. Fortune-telling
Although none of us knows what will happen in the future, we sometimes like to try our hand at fortune-telling. We think things like, "I'm going to embarrass myself tomorrow," or "If I go on a diet, I'll probably just gain weight." These types of thoughts can become self-fulfilling prophecies if you're not careful. When you're predicting doom and gloom, remind yourself of all the other possible outcomes.

9. Personalization
As much as we'd like to say we don't think the world revolves around us, it's easy to personalize everything. If a friend doesn't call back, you may assume, "She must be mad at me," or if a co-worker is grumpy, you might conclude, "He doesn't like me." When you catch yourself personalizing situations, take time to point out other possible factors that may be influencing the circumstances.

10. Unreal Ideal
Making unfair comparisons about ourselves and other people can ruin our motivation. Looking at someone who has achieved much success and thinking, "I should have been able to do that," isn't helpful, especially if that person had some lucky breaks or competitive advantages along the way. Rather than measuring your life against someone else's, commit to focusing on your own path to success.

How to Make a Change.
To overcome negative self talk and beliefs you must make the connection between your thoughts, your emotions, and your actions. The goal doesn't need to be to replace negative thoughts with overly idealistic or positive ones. Instead, replace them with realistic thoughts. Changing the way you think takes a lot of effort initially, but with practice, you'll notice big changes—not just in the way you think, but also in the way you feel and behave. You can make peace with the past, look at the present differently, and think about the future in a way that will support your chances of reaching your goals.

Information was used from the following:

psychcentral.com/lib/15-common-cognitive-distortions/0002153
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/what-mentally-strong-people-dont-do/201501/10-thinking-errors-will-crush-your-mental-strength?utm_source=FacebookPost&utm_medium=FBPost&utm_campaign=FBPost

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Whats Counseling All About Anyway...?

1/12/2015

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I am a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) in private practice in St. Charles, Missouri. After much consideration I decided I needed to upgrade my website. I was told I would need to begin blogging to help myself be "relevant", whatever that means. I'll just come out and say it; I have no idea what I am doing! I just finished writing the frequently asked questions portion of my website and decided to share it in a blog post... Yay I have an acceptable idea for a blog topic... I think... Man, I hope someone reads this! I wanted to talk a little about the biggest obstacle I run into as a therapist which is people’s belief that only people who are "crazy" or in "crisis" go to counseling. What is that all about? I don't know about other therapists but many of my clients are as "high functioning" as the next guy! I find that there is no normal, perfect, or ideal. Every person has "issues" because no matter what you do life is happening and much of the time you are not in control. Our experiences impact how we function at work, in relationships, and in every aspect of our daily life. As a therapist, I genuinely care about people! It makes me happy to see people learn how to navigate this crazy mixed up world we live in. I don't know about you but I usually feel pretty good after I can talk with someone about what’s going on with me, which is a lot of what goes on in therapy. How can you change the future if you do not learn from your past? Counseling helps people increase awareness of their core beliefs and patterns of behavior and learn or redevelop a more healthy way of functioning. My goal is for clients to achieve their goals whatever they may be; therapy is the solution. So let’s talk!

Below are the FAQ's from my website. Please feel free to contact me with any questions you may have!

FAQ's
Do I need counseling?
I believe anyone can benefit from counseling as everyone struggles to overcome challenges at some point in their life. People attend therapy for a variety of reasons ranging from a desire to learn better stress management and coping skills to learning to manage symptoms of a mental health diagnosis. Some clients are simply looking for someone to listen and provide non-judgmental, compassionate understanding.

How do I find the right counselor for me?
A counseling relationship is like any other relationship in your life, it has to be a good "fit". It is important to feel comfortable with your therapist for counseling to be successful; it may take a few meetings to determine this. You can ask questions about a counselor’s theoretical approach and their "style" as some counselors are directive and provide homework assignments while other therapists are completely non-directive. The most valuable indicator of successful therapy is a good relationship between client and counselor.

What happens in counseling?
Many therapists will have you complete paperwork prior to the first appointment. Typically the first session will be spent completing the initial assessment, gathering information regarding clients history and need for treatment. Office policies, limits of confidentiality will be reviewed at this time. Following initial assessment, client and counselor will work together to identify goals for counseling. Client and therapist should take the first few sessions to determine if they are comfortable working together; sometimes it is not a "fit" and the therapist will provide referrals to another counselor able to serve the client’s needs.

How long do people go to counseling?
Individual counseling sessions are 50 minutes. Couples counseling sessions are 90 minutes. A counselor can adjust time as needed. Some people attend counseling for as little as a month; others may attend therapy for a year. Client and counselor will work together to determine goals for therapy which will determine length of counseling attendance.

What is an LPC, what does that mean?
Licensed professional counselors (LPCs) are master’s-degreed mental health service providers, trained to work with individuals, families, and groups in treating mental, behavioral, and emotional problems and disorders. To obtain licensure in the state of Missouri an individual must obtain a Master's degree, complete 2,000 hours of post graduate experience as a Counselor in Training or a Provisionally Licensed
Professional Counselor, and must pass the National Counselor Exam (NCE). In order to maintain licensure an LPC is required to complete a predetermined number of continuing education and uphold the legal and ethical codes.

How confidential are the session?
Information disclosed by clients is held completely confidential. However, by law, there are times that confidentiality must be broken. If you threaten to harm yourself or someone else, if child abuse is suspected/reported or if disclosure is ordered by a court of law. If any of these circumstances were to arise, I would do my best to disclose only required information which we would discuss at length and I would proceed in the most professional way possible. If you choose to use insurance, be advised, that therapists are required to submit information to the insurance company regarding your sessions. Information required varies depending on insurance company policies.

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4 Steps to Feel Better Today!

10 Cognitive Distortions That Could Be Causing Anxiety, Depression, and Difficulty Reaching Goals.

Whats Counseling All About Anyway...?

Stephanie Devereux, MA, LPC
S. Corey Hart, MA, LPC
Diane, Menke, Pence, MA, LPC
Kayla Burton, MA, LPC
Constance West MA, CIT

Archives

Categories

"These pains you feel are messengers,
Listen to them.” Rumi

4 Steps to Feel Better Today!

10 Cognitive Distortions That Could Be Causing Anxiety, Depression, and Difficulty Reaching Goals.

Whats Counseling All About Anyway...?

Stephanie Devereux, MA, LPCS. Corey Hart, MA, LPCDiane, Menke, Pence, MA, LPC​Kayla Burton, MA, LPCConstance West MA, CIT

﻿Archives﻿

Categories

"These pains you feel are messengers,​Listen to them.” Rumi​

Stephanie Devereux, MA, LPC
S. Corey Hart, MA, LPC
Diane, Menke, Pence, MA, LPC
Kayla Burton, MA, LPC
Constance West MA, CIT

Archives

"These pains you feel are messengers,
Listen to them.” Rumi